Author Archives: amyjrio

Divergent: A Mirror to the Soul

Posted by amyjrio in Books, Entertainment, Spirituality and tagged with , , , , , ,

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My teenage daughter and I have read several books together in recent years. A while back, I handed her a copy of Divergent by Veronica Roth. We both enjoy books with a fantastical element, dystopian world views, and strong young women. My child believes that women are naturally strong, insightful, and independent. I am always thrilled to find books, movies, and television shows that encourage this belief.

A great deal has been written about this trilogy (the last book was published in recent weeks), and the first movie made a big splash over the weekend, starring Shailene Woodley and Theo James. Ava and I were part of the throngs who filled the theater seats Friday night. The basic story concerns a futuristic Chicago where society is divided into 5 factions – Abnegation (focused on serving others), Candor (valuing honesty above all else), Amity (where peace and happiness prevail), Erudite (the scholars who believe knowledge is most important), and Dauntless (the fearless, who are the soldiers of the society). At age 16, each member must choose a faction in which to live. Protagonist Tris Prior comes from Abnegation, but learns that she is actually Divergent – a hidden group who belong in more than one faction. The Divergent are a threat to society, and must cover who they are in order to survive. Tris chooses Dauntless, one of the factions for which she is most suited. As with many dystopian stories, there are people in power who abuse that responsibility, and seek to harm society. Tris is the young woman who fights for justice.

Ava and I had a good discussion about the changes from page to screen. They always necessarily exist, and sometimes those alterations are effective, and sometimes not. For the most part, I felt like the movie did a good job in this area. The differences maintained the essential story and the focus Roth created in her writing. One change in the movie actually struck me as far more effective than in the book.

Both the book and the movie begin with Tris and her mother, who is cutting her daughter’s dishwater hair in preparation for the choosing ceremony. Abnegation members keep mirrors hidden, only using them for special occasions, and then only briefly. They believe vanity is a trait which inhibits helping others. That, in and of itself, makes a vast statement in the age of the selfie.

Yet, the movie beautifully incorporates Tris’ reflection as an important symbol. Throughout the film, when Tris sees her own face (in a mirror, water, the back of a spoon), that is when she sees inside herself. She comes to know herself more fully, understands her capabilities, strengths, potential and power. She sees a mirror to her soul. This self-realization enables her to stand up against the powers that be, and to fight for the victims of this society.

God’s light shines in each one of us. Too many young women doubt their own intuition, what their soul is telling them. Instead of looking at themselves, they look to others (society, the media, boyfriends, fathers, the world of entertainment) to tell them who they are and how they can or should function in society. Tris is an example of trusting that light of God in the soul of each young woman, and knowing that great things will happen when they do.

Read the books. Go see the movie. Take a girl with you, and then have a good conversation.

A Spirituality of March Madness

Posted by amyjrio in Spirituality and tagged with , , , , , , ,

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As a native North Carolinian, March doesn’t just indicate the beginning of Springtime and new life. Individuals in my state spurn the emerging outdoors to spend hours and hours on a coach in front of a tv. One will ignore everything else to flip between games, mark up her printed bracket when a favored team loses on the first day, and then toss out texts or quick voicemails to friends who made different picks. There isn’t much greater joy for a North Carolinian than having more Men’s Basketball tourney picks right than everyone else. (I will confess – I still have my 2001 bracket, when my beloved Blue Devils won the championship and I only missed 8 calls out of the 64 games.)

March Madness normally coincides with Lent, the Christian season for giving up things we don’t need in our lives and instead focusing on walking the spiritual journey with Jesus. With all the countless people I know who observe the season of Lent, I am very hard pressed to think of people who have abstained from tv. March Madness seems to draw one away from the sacred path. We are more likely to use foul or abusive language, perhaps at the referees or struggling players or coaches. We tend to eat junk food and consume a fair amount of beer. We might be petty if our team wins and our friend’s rival team loses. This whole thing is all about competition, right?

Yet, I do believe March Madness can offer some opportunities for us to grow along the spiritual path. Basketball is a sport accessible to practically anyone in our country. One just needs a ball and a hoop. Public playgrounds and recreation centers have these in abundance. No special shoes, fancy equipment, specialized training. As Jesus invited everyone – regardless of status, background, culture, or gender – to join his movement, so anyone can pick up a ball and start playing.

One of the things I love about this sport is the team aspect. There is normally a more gifted player, who might score most the points, or have most the steals or rebounds. Yet, all 5 members of the team are essential to the success of the 40 minute journey of a game. As 1 Corinthians tells us, the eye is just as important as the ear as is the head as is the foot or heart. They must all work together as one body.

Basketball takes a great deal of hard work and effort. There is no coasting on past achievements. One of the great stories during this season has been the reemergence of Rasheed Sulaimon, a young Duke player. One of the stars of the team last year, he endured some personal struggles and found himself on the bench for a while as his commitment to the game waned. Yet, he persevered, never gave up, and eventually was able to work through the difficulties in his life and once again become one of the most reliable Duke players. The spiritual journey is not an easy one, and some days or weeks or months are much harder than others. Yet, perseverance, struggling through the droughts, is always worth the effort.

Life is obviously more complex and intricate than sports, even a great game like basketball. Yet, I pray during this season of Lent, that I will remember the important things. I’m not saying I won’t gloat on Facebook about a particularly good pick, especially if my friends don’t agree – because I know I will 🙂 I am simply sending up a prayer that I will remember the gifts of something like basketball, and help incorporate those inspirations in my own spiritual journey.

The True Spirit of St. Patrick’s Day

Posted by amyjrio in Spirituality and tagged with , , , , ,

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(Dingle Peninsula, Ireland, taken January 2011 while leading a group of students on a trip to study Ireland and its spirituality)

I have witnessed the “observance” of St. Patrick’s Day explode over the years. I always made certain to wear green as a child to avoid the inevitable pinching. Upon arrival in college, a few of my friends took the opportunity to head to a local bar to drink green beer. Yet now, it seems everyone claims to be Irish today and the primary focus is the green beer, Guinness, or other assorted drinks vaguely connected with the Emerald Isle.

I like to offer a good-natured quiz about St. Patrick every year. I’ll ask what people know about him (especially my students who are ready to go out and celebrate in the typical American manner.) The responses normally are limited to declarations that he was an Irish priest, and he drove the snakes out of Ireland (which most people, myself included, view as a positive). Yet, the true story of Patrick is so much more fascinating than the few words people might utter. Patrick was born in southern England, and grew up a pagan, worshipping the gods and goddesses of the Saxons. As a teen, he was kidnapped by Irish slavers – outlaws who terrified the western coast of England for many years. Enslaved in a foreign land, alone and isolated and living at the whim of his owners, Patrick survived for several years before God sent him a dream. The dream gave the young man instructions about how to escape and make his way 200 miles to a ship to find his way back home. And he did.

 A sensible ending to this story would be that Patrick went back to his family farm, married a local girl, and lived as happily ever after as one could back in the 5th century. He did return to the family farm, but eventually converted to Christianity. He studied his new faith, and was ordained a priest. Patrick never forgot those few years of enslavement. Against what would seem rational, he felt called to go back to Ireland and spread the message of Christ. And he did. 1 Corinthians 1:25 states that God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom. Patrick embodied that verse.

 God’s foolishness – to return to a land of enslavement – was so successful that Christianity spread rapidly throughout the land and most people today assume Patrick was actually Irish. The true spirit of St. Patrick’s Day is about the courage, grace, and wisdom of Patrick. Instead of using today as an excuse to over imbibe, let’s take time to think about where we need courage in our own lives. What frightening place in our hearts, in our lives, do we seek to flee? How can we face those places with courage? How can we offer grace to the people who have placed us there (especially if that person is our own self)? How can we live and act in God’s wisdom, especially if it places us at odds with what is deemed wise in our world?

 

“Christ with me,

Christ before me,

Christ behind me,

Christ in me,

Christ beneath me,

Christ above me,

Christ on my right,

Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I sit down,

Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.” – The Breastplate of St. Patrick

More in the Season of Lent

Posted by amyjrio in Family Stories, Societal Issues, Spirituality and tagged with , , , , , ,

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            Yesterday I heard a colleague spouting these words as she left a meeting, “No alcohol! No sweets!” Being on the tail-end of the conversation, I responded, “That sounds awful!” My immediate thought was her doctor had insisted on the restrictions. She quickly replied, “Oh, it’s Lent, you know.” I felt a tad bit chagrined. Being the only clergyperson around, I should have immediately known the reference.

             Lent is one of those odd times of the Christian year. Many people will “give up” or “sacrifice” something during those 40 days (minus Sundays) prior to Easter. These items often focus on food or luxuries. Alcohol, sweets, red meat, television, fast food – all these things are commonly associated with the season. Yet, why do we give up something? Is it a habit, just a thing to do? Is it a spiritual discipline? How do we hope to grow in our faith by sacrificing something we probably don’t really need anyway?

             When my kids were little, and I began to introduce the concept to them, I focused a great deal on what it means to have too much. In our society, we are almost obsessed with wanting more – more money, more free time, more possessions, more youth, more beauty, more success. And yet, so many of us have so much more than we truly need. (Now today’s thoughts are not directed towards the millions who are struggling to get by, who are dealing with food endangerment, and are on the edge of homelessness. It’s for the rest of us – the majority in this country.) I told my children that when we are so focused on wanting more, we have a really hard time focusing on Jesus and who he wants us to be. I explained that he lived his life in poverty, and wants us to help those who are struggling. When our lives are filled with excess, it’s really hard to do that. The whole camel through the eye of a needle thing.

             We give up things during Lent so that we have the heart, time, and space to focus on empowering those who don’t have more. We give up things during Lent so that we can identify, in some small manner, what it is like to do without. We give up things during Lent so we can walk in the path of Jesus.

             What am I giving up during Lent? Fast food. I have a real thing for fizzy Diet Cokes, and realized during the dark winter days how dependent I had become upon them. And I know many people in the world don’t have the extra few dollars to buy a soft drink from a fast food chain. Will I succeed in this endeavor? I surely hope so. I never maintained my promise during the years I gave up chocolate. (If the Girl Scouts wouldn’t deliver cookies during Lent, I would have had a better chance at success.) Regardless of success or not (after all, wanting “more success” will not enhance my spiritual journey), I pray that these days will create more space in my heart, soul, and mind so that I might see the needs around me, and might be filled with the Christ spirit to find ways to help meet those needs.

             I wish you all a fruitful Lent.

The Theology of Julia Spencer-Fleming

Posted by amyjrio in Books, Spirituality and tagged with , , , ,

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            I discovered Julia Spencer-Fleming’s Clare Fergusson and Russ van Alstyne books about a year and a half ago. A dear friend of mine, who is a female Episcopal priest, gushed over this mystery series. Most the mysteries I read are set in the past. I don’t find many modern mysteries that compelling – they seem far too violent, and real life has enough violence for me. Yet, the kicker with this series is the lead is a female Episcopal priest. Patty handed me the first book, In the Bleak Midwinter, and it only took a few days for me to rush through it. There aren’t many books out there with a female minister, and certainly not one as the primary character. I know we are still in the minority, and I enjoy reading about someone who might have some things in common with me.

             I have no idea if Spencer-Fleming is attempting to convey any certain theological stance or not. Yet, she defines a rather clear one in the development of her characters and story lines. Clare is not the stereotype one assumes for a minister, apart from her gender. A compelling military background prepares her in unusual ways for her parish (totally apart from her crime solving – an activity the typical minister does not usually undertake). Her calling from God is real, fresh, immediate and perplexing. God calls all sorts of people, oftentimes for reasons that no one can comprehend (including the called individual), and Clare represents that so powerfully.

             The other characters are varied and full. The books are filled with experienced and crusty police officers, Granny activists, struggling and misunderstood teens, a variety of veterans, individuals struggling to survive economically and spiritually, wealthy but flawed movers and shakers, and a wide assortment filling the spectrum. The author’s gift is not just that she can create so many interesting and imaginative characters, but that each one is sympathetic. I despise the actions of some of the individuals, but yet I cannot help but have compassion for them, as Clare herself does. There are no perfect people and no perfect answers. Life is tough. Life is complicated. Life hurts. Yet, through it all – there is grace.

             The best fiction provides truth. It inspires us to be more and better than we are. In one book, Clare laments to a colleague that she might be reckless. The other woman tells her she probably instead is fearless. I have used that example to sister clergy, as well as to students. They are two sides of the same coin. Julia Spencer-Fleming’s theology is that each unique person is a child of God, gifted and graced in powerful ways. Her theology is that the life God offers to us can call us so far beyond what we can imagine, and that we should be fearless in seizing grace and opportunities. Hold on tight to that, and we will find the path that fulfills, compels, and inspires.

Here comes the rain again…

Posted by amyjrio in Entertainment, Spirituality and tagged with , , , ,

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            Tacoma, Washington is close to heaven on earth. I attended a summer conference here about 10 years ago, and immediately fell in love. It sits on the Puget Sound, with the Cascade Mountains gently circling the city. My favorite colors are blue and green, and every shade of these two hues fills the eye in Tacoma. Rolling hills, diverse architecture, and unique micro-breweries dot the landscape. I am quite fortunate to find myself back in Tacoma for another conference. It’s not the freshly warm days of summer, but instead the cool rainy days of winter. A winter storm is sweeping north of here, so the day has been filled with torrential showers. Wind sweeps the rainfall sideways, and hail even decided to make a brief appearance. Tacomans have been quick to tell us visitors that this is unusual. Yes, it rains often here, but usual gentle sprinklings that don’t interfere with one’s normal day.

             The rain hasn’t bothered me. I rather like it. As a teen, one of my favorite songs was “Here Comes the Rain” again by The Eurythmics. Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory, falling on my head like a new emotion. Rain was equated with deep emotion, the depths of one’s heart and soul. I didn’t quite understand all the meaning of the words so beautifully sung by Annie Lennox, but I knew it stirred me and spoke to something beyond my short-sighted 16 year old perspective.

             The rain still speaks to me. The world’s religions have various water rituals which symbolize cleansing, new life, new beginnings, new community. “Remember your baptism and be thankful” are words I have stated on numerous occasions. Rain cleanses us, nourishes us, gives growth to the dryness of our lives. So many people desire sunshine each and every day. We want sunny dispositions, an easy and fun life, a wide sandy beach with a cooler of Coronas.

             But we need balance. It wouldn’t be so lush and gorgeous in the Pacific Northwest without all the rain. The sunny days wouldn’t mean so much if they never ended. We’ve been taught that rain is something we must endure – into each life a little rain must fall. But why must rain be the bad guy? Rain instead exemplifies what is basic, necessary, and foundational in our lives.

             So I say, bring on the rain.

The Size of a Mustard Seed

Posted by amyjrio in Spirituality and tagged with , , , ,

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          “It’s about this size.” The doctor held her thumbs incredibly close together over a strip of paper. “You can see 4 millimeters isn’t much, but I know it can cause a whole lot of problems.”

             I could barely see the space between her hands, my eyes still glazed over with tears of pain. The morphine drip had been set up about half an hour before, but my right hand continued to press into the left side of my stomach, my body curled on the hospital bed. Kidney stone, was the first thought that popped into my mind a few hours earlier when the sharp pain woke me. I spent an hour debating whether or not I needed to go to the hospital in the middle of the night, but when the doctor finally confirmed my amateur prognosis, I was certain I made the right decision.

             The subsequent days were filled with debilitating pain – definitely worse than the 20 plus hours of natural childbirth I had endured many years before. All the terrible things I ever heard about kidney stones were true. How could such a tiny thing cause so much agony?

             Through the haze of pain, naseau, and prescription meds, I continually remembered the doctor demonstrating the size of that tiny stone. The average kidney stone is the size of a mustard seed. Jesus famously said, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20) I have preached on this scripture several times over the years. Growing up in the mountains it was hard to imagine how such a gigantic chunk of land could be moved. Even with dynamite, it was no easy task. Now, I think Jesus enjoyed exaggerating on occasion – but he used extremes to make a point. Something so tiny that it can be easily missed can have a tremendous impact for the good.

 It seems far easier to think of negative impacts than positive ones. The old glass half full – half empty illustration. Complaining about life is far easier than thinking of the things for which we are thankful. Yet, just a tiny 4 mm of thankfulness can turn our lives around. Replacing a small amount of complaining, worry or fear with praise, hope, or belief can truly be life-changing. Spending just a few minutes a day in prayer, sacred reading, meditation can impact the entire rest of our 24 hours each day for the better. A minute pebble can turn our lives one way or the other. Let’s take those miniscule irritants in our lives, and instead of allowing them to fester and take control, turn them into a force for good. Just 4 mm can change our lives, and it can change the world.

Chinese New Year & New Beginnings

Posted by amyjrio in Family Stories, Spirituality and tagged with , , ,

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     Our family, consisting of white Southern Protestants, has observed Chinese New Year for the last 15 years. Why, one might ask? And the answer is the little baby girl we brought home from China. We want her to be proud of her heritage and her homeland, so celebrating the biggest holiday of the Chinese year is one way we do that. When the kids were little, I began to make Chinese food (as best I could) on the first day of CNY. We also decorated the room with red paper and drawings, red being the color of celebration in China. I presented them with special red envelopes with a dollar inside. We pored over children’s books about the activities and beliefs behind the customs.

             Once we moved to Greensboro a few years back, the Greensboro Chinese Association greatly expanded our observance of this event. Ava joined the Chinese folk dance troupe, and began to dance each year in the grand celebration. The annual event took place this past Saturday, with Ava and her friends dancing once again. Today’s picture shows my lovely daughter preparing for a dance with a rather heavy sword. We enjoyed the lion dance, traditional Chinese music, kung fu demonstrations, calligraphy, Chinese food, and other ways to celebrate this ancient holiday. Both my children will once again today receive traditional red envelopes with money inside.

             Chinese New Year evolves out of a desire to begin again – to put the winter and darkness behind and to prepare for the coming spring and signs of new life. The ancestors and history are also to be honored and celebrated. Numerous rites and rituals help participants remember their own ancestors and the nation’s  cultural history. These observances are a way to tie the past with the desire to be ready for the future. And I love how many activities display readiness during this two week celebration (which actually just begins today) – purchasing new clothes, cleaning the house from top to bottom, getting one’s hair cut, making special food items which honor the past or symbolize new beginnings. Rice – the most basic of foods in China – symbolizes wealth, luck, and a relationship between the Heavens and humanity. Fresh fruits symbolize life and new beginnings. Each item is prepared with special intent, and absorbed into the body with a special thanksgiving for the things which it represents.

             Each year our family thinks about new beginnings. We honor the past – we tell the story of our little China baby and the ways she has grown. We once again recount that God planned for her to be in our family – she’s such a perfect fit. We reminisce about the elders who are no longer with us, and how much they loved our new baby. We proclaim that any ancestor who didn’t know her would have loved her as much as we do. And we explore possibilities and options for the future – college, career plans, possible partner and children one day. These two weeks are a grand time.

             I’ll head to Dynasty Asian Market later this afternoon to stock up on items for our family Chinese feast later. The lady at the checkout is always more than helpful – it’s rather obvious that the white woman in front of her doesn’t know a whole lot about Chinese cooking – and I appreciate her generosity in helping me learn. My family and I will once again honor this wonderful tradition, remembering the past and anxiously anticipating the future.

Hinduism, Christianity, & Nature

Posted by amyjrio in Spirituality and tagged with , , , ,

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            As a College Chaplain, I am the one person who is officially designated to help support the spiritual journey of the campus community. I dare say we are living in the most religiously diverse nation this planet has ever seen. As a result, most colleges and universities today have incredibly diverse campuses in terms of religion. However, many people don’t realize this. They tend to stick with people like themselves, and this includes any religious belief set or observance.

             One of my great joys is helping students learn about different religions, and how to engage with people of other faith traditions. A group of students and I recently attended the Hindu Temple of the Triad. I’ve been several times now, and the smell of incense as I entered the building welcomed me with open arms. The leader of the community emerged, shook our hands, and generously spent time explaining Hinduism and puja (worship) to our students. Enthralled with the space, the students had numerous questions and began to see connections with their own religions.

             So many of the aspects of puja seemed familiar to me – a beautiful altar, a priest who trained years for this role, offerings to the divine, sacred writings. Yet, on this day, another similarity struck me. As our host explained the deities, he pointed out the particular animals associated with them.

             “Each idol has an animal, because it represents that all of creation is connected and part of the divine.” I sat there, again seeing a connection with my own faith of Christianity. One of my favorite parts of the Bible is where God created everything – every animal, tree, flower, star, and humans. And once God created, God said, “It is good.” All of creation is a gift from the divine, and it is good. Celtic Spirituality brought these concepts to the forefront. The first British theologian, Pelagius, understood that creation is good. However, the Western Church followed in the footsteps of Augustine, who himself was immersed in the Greco dualistic understanding of good and evil. Augustine couldn’t get past his hatred of his desires or his body. And so the church (in official doctrine, at least) rejected the understanding of the goodness of creation, and bought into the Greco ideas that our bodies (created in God’s own image) would lead us astray from the spiritual path and must be subdued. The church bought into the concept that creation itself must be dominated as well, and made to follow the will of man (and I use the word man specifically, not as a substitute for humanity).

             As I sat cross-legged in the Hindu Temple, soaking in the words of this bright man who immigrated from India, and whose life could only have been markedly different from mine own – I remembered the words of Genesis. “And God created, and it was good.”

Sleepy Hollow, The Bible, and Women

Posted by amyjrio in Entertainment, Spirituality and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

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           Every summer I thoroughly peruse the promos for new television shows. One stood out this past August – primarily because I thought it was in the top 10 of ridiculous premises ever proposed. Ichabod Crane (of the famous story penned by Washington Irving) wakes from the dead in modern day Sleepy Hollow, NY. It turns out he was Gen. George Washington’s primary soldier in the fight against biblical evil during the Revolutionary War while history has only recorded the colonies’ fight for independence from the British Crown. Crane discovers he is meant to stop the horsemen of the Apocalypse, and is partnered in this battle with Det. Abbie Mills. Chaos ensues.

             This ludicrous premise led to my favorite show of the season – and ratings reveal that I am not alone in this love. The last of 13 episodes aired Monday night, and now we all wait impatiently and spout various theories concerning the cliff-hangers until next Fall. This show has captured the affection of viewers and critics alike. Gifted actors, compelling action, entertaining humor, angst and drama, surprising historical revelations, and unpredictable storylines have contributed to this surprise hit. It also helps that the guys behind the show are in the JJ Abrams circle, working on shows like Lost and Fringe. These guys understand spirituality and well-rounded characters, especially women.

             I love all these different aspects of the show, but two areas provide particular interest for me – the treatment of the Bible and the place of women in this world. First, in regards to the Bible, it is used as a guidebook for how Crane and Mills can combat the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (see book of Revelation if this doesn’t sound familiar to you). I daresay Revelation has been the part of the Bible most appropriated by Hollywood. And of course, it’s never accurate, but that’s beside the point when someone is looking for good inspiration for a fictional story. The writers and viewers both are aware that this interpretation is fictional and outlandish, but I appreciate how the Bible and faith are treated with respect. The clergy are strong individuals, endeavoring to fight evil at whatever costs. Crane and Mills use their extensive knowledge of the scriptures to help in their quest.

             Second, it is such a pleasant change to see strong, independent, articulate, and smart women characters who are not defined by their relationship to a man. (Tom Mison, who plays Crane, even stated this was one of the draws to this show for him.) In addition to Mills (portrayed by an engaging Nicole Beharie), there is her sister Jenny, Crane’s wife Katrina, and Capt. Irving’s wife. What makes it even better is the fact that most these women are African-American. Abbie Mills’ defining relationship is not the past romance with a fellow cop, but the great love she has for her sister. In the season finale, she even tells Jenny – “I will not lose you again.” Tears came to my eyes – sisterly love is a beautiful and powerful thing. When a woman normally says these words on tv, it’s too her “soul-mate,” the romantic love of her life who completes her. (And please don’t get me started right now on the soul-mate/complete my life baloney that Hollywood dishes out. I’ll rant about that in a future blog.)

             On paper, this show shouldn’t work. But it has – in an overwhelming way. I hope other shows will follow suit. Be imaginative, respectful, and treat women as the well-rounded, intelligent, and independent people we are.

             I can’t wait until next September.